if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
