I think my vagina is haunted
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
