Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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