walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize