It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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