I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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