): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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