Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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