well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
