Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize