My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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