Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
