his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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