Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
