Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
