I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
