id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
