ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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