Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
