Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
