I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
