Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
