wat bout pragnant strippers??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
