talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
