Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
