Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
