So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
