so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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