Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
