You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize