the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
