My cat gives me a boner
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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