I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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