Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
