So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
