Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
