How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
