with your own penis?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
