Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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