if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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