I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
