don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
