I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
