it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
