there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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