I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
