Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
