They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
