they need to just BURY HIM!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
