I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
