Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
