Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize