I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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