you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
