Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
