a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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