you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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