david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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