wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
